What I get from reading "hype" is that the writer is trying to tell us is there is no getting around some of the good or negative pollution our brains take in on a daily bases. Advertisements are everywhere you look. Before they were a little confined, newspaper, stores and maybe even mailed to you, not so publicize. You may find this to be funny but come near future you may even see advertisements on public toilets we use. Why you may ask? Why not would be a better question, you can’t get around using them they are always in demand a part of our every day function.
Late night TV commercials always seem to get me. I'm always looking for a quick fix way to lose weight and late night infomercials always seem to get me. Sometimes I feel like a kid in a candy store with all the gadgets they have to sell, they're always claiming that one product is better than the other. Most of the time it’s a good way of me putting myself to sleep, leaves my brain boggled.
These advertisements everywhere also have its downfall. Advertisement sexy ads really get me. Sometimes I’m places with my young child and she’s asking me mom why doesn’t the lady have clothes on and she’s outside, why are they kissing. Again my brain is boggled, not knowing what to say that would make her understand. Sexy ads are the ones I feel should be more confined to certain places of where they can advertise them for that particular reason. I don’t know maybe it’s just me, but I worry about the kind of things my young one is subjected to see. How about you?
notice I had a little trouble with correct spelling, need to go and get me a pocket size helper (laughing to self)
ReplyDeleteChanda: Good news--the trouble with the spelling is nothing that distracts too much from reading the whole, so while a concern, it is not a major concern. You also include concrete detail in your examples of your encounters with advertising--good strategy.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestions have to do with analyzing the reading, connection, and focus.
Analyzing the reading: You correctly recognized that the author sees ads as "pollution," but when you summarized the ideas, you added some of your own, as in "good or negative pollution"--but is there really any good pollution? I suggest you practice making sure that you do not add your own views to the summary. Keep those good ideas for your side of the essay.
Connection: While you did a good job of adding the summary on top, the actual connection between it and your own experience needs to be more obvious. Transitional ideas would help here.
Focus: I think your main point was that ads "leave [your] brain boggled"--but I had to infer it from your repetition of the phrase. You should have a clear, bold point somewhere early in the piece that you can then expand on with examples.